What Is It About?
Napkin Version
We can feel sad if we are in a situation we don’t want to be in, if we aren’t following our heart and doing what is important to us, or if we have endured something that isn’t good for us, for too long.
Sadness can also be like a pressure release valve when we are under a lot of stress, and our tears help to release some of the built-up pressure.
In a nutshell, sadness shows us when our needs aren’t being met, and helps us to slow down, take time out, reflect on the situation, check our priorities, find a better way for ourselves, and get the help we need to make beneficial changes.
The intensity of sadness can increase with our own inaction to make changes, and decrease as soon as we take the first step towards something better for ourselves (including getting help to do it).
Handling Sadness
In The Moment
Training our brain to use a relevant process helps us to focus more effectively and move on more easily. Using it often will also help our brain to catch Sadness sooner, making it easier to manage.
Taking a reflective break helps to give us the space we need to stand back and identify what we really need.
Giving ourselves a healthy positive boost (see Working Through Sadness section below) can provide us with the uplift of energy needed to face any bigger challenges.
Then once we take steps towards making positive changes for ourselves (even if it’s just researching our options more), positive momentum starts to build, and our need for a temporary boost falls away.
Self-Reflection
If the emotion feels quite troubling, it’s usually worth checking if something else is going on first.
By resolving things in ourselves and clearing any other residual emotions, we can reduce the intensity of the emotion - now and when we encounter it again in future.
Doing so also makes us less likely to ‘attract’ other difficulties that leave us feeling the same way.
See the Processing and Clearing an Emotion page for a generic process to resolve and clear an emotion.
Working Through Sadness
The actions we choose to take in response to an emotion can make a significant difference to how well we adjust and move on from it.
The more we take genuine actions that are uplifting and ‘right’ i.e., are good for ourselves and everyone else (including the environment and other living beings) - for now, and over the long-term, the better our experience of life becomes.
Working through Sadness involves taking a step back to identify and make positive changes in our life.
IN GENERAL
It can be helpful to first check if:
We are looking after ourselves.
We aren’t overloaded by something at the moment, or under a lot of stress.
We are making what is important to us a priority, and being true to ourselves.
We are able to relax and be ourselves in our everyday situations.
We are able to add value in a way that fits with who we are.
We have enough fun and enjoyable stuff in our life.
Changes for a better quality of life
The following questions may help here:
What can I do to look after myself better?
Can I be a bit gentler with myself?
Do I have enough things in my life I can look forward to?
What kind of people and situations do I thrive around?
What are my strengths and gifts, and how can I add value?
What other positive actions can I take to improve my situation, even if just a little bit, for a little while?
What is doable now, with room for improvement over time?
Will it help to see things from a more light-hearted perspective, find humour in my predicament, and think of creative ways to get myself out of it?
Would I benefit from more support, to help me deal with the stress I am dealing with? If so, who would be best to help me?
MOVING FORWARD
Once we know what we can do to improve things, taking even tiny steps to make a positive change, can uplift our spirits and get us moving in a better direction. Doing this for ourselves, no matter how small the change, is often what helps us to turn the corner.
Positive boost ideas
If we find it hard to take any steps forward, then it can help to find wholesome ways to give ourselves a little boost of positive energy to make it easier to start the ball rolling, for example:
Spending time with kind people, animals, and/or nature - in a low-stress and enjoyable way.
Doing a hobby that lifts our spirits.
Watching something that makes us laugh, inspires, or uplifts us.
Doing exercise that we enjoy.
Listening to music that we connect with or inspires us. If it feels like too much of a mis-match to our mood, then starting with music that matches our mood, then gradually shifting to music that is more upbeat may be helpful.
Talking things through with a trusted and respected friend, family, community member, or with a mental health professional - whoever helps us to feel accepted, understood, and supported.
Taking a moment to appreciate what is good in our life.
Appreciating our ability to make decisions and changes that benefit us.
Giving ourselves positive and encouraging words – be they our own words, or from someone else who inspires or motivates us.
Getting into a bit of harmless mischief, to spark up our fun side.
Clearing Residual Sadness
Emotional energy can stick with us, even after we have worked through and resolved whatever caused it.
There are a number of ways we can clear the energy, including doing something physical in nature, imagining the emotion leaving our body, or for more intense emotions, there is a variety of different therapies and alternative forms of energy healing that can also help.
This short video has been created to help the imagination process:
Imagine holding a ball of energy in your hands, and ‘charging’ it with the feeling of love, and anything else that would help to offset it (especially any feelings that were missing in the situation)
Imagine any residual Sadness energy flowing out of your body, into the ball, and being transformed into the positive equivalent.
Once all the residual energy has left, imagine the ball shooting far out into the atmosphere and dissolving into pure white light energy.
